Don't be afraid to put your foot down

Saying "no" to your OB/midwife is not rude. It is your right as a patient, human being, and a paying customer! Christians strive to be kind and considerate, careful not to offend caregivers (which is very admirable). Some women are worried that they must follow what their ob/midwife says since she's the authority but this is not true. Your ob/midwife is a medical authority but this doesn't mean she's in a position of authority over you. Quite the opposite! Because you hired her, you're the "master" and she is the "servant." In other words, you have authority over your ob/midwife. Yes, you should be polite. Saying no to someone who is providing a service to you in exchange for money is NOT rude. They can't provide "excellent" service if you don't tell them what you do and do not want. Even if you're sure she has your best interests in mind, you can still ask for more time before making a decision and even say no with no guilt. It doesn't make you mean, rude or a bad parent. It actually makes you a better parent for standing up for your child! Your ob/midwife is offering suggestions but it is your body, your baby and your labor and ultimately it is all your decision. Yes, you should trust your providers are looking out for your best interests, but it isn't fair to expect perfection. Your ob/midwife will give her opinion and the possibilities of the situation, but that doesn't make it an absolute truth. Following blindly without asking for other ideas will limit your ability to retain some semblance of control. After all it is your body, your baby and your labor we are talking about here.

A letter to moms (and moms-to-be)

If there is anyone who understands what you may be feeling, it is me. I have had fears and doubt, worries and anxieties, excitement and joy! But I have a mantra that I live by that a wise friend once told me (over and over I might add!) - let go and let God. Simple right? Well, maybe not. But trust me, when you truly follow this saying, life is simpler. Not easier, simpler.
Let go of all your fears, doubts and worries and let God fill you with a peace that is beyond all understanding as He takes care of what worries you.

Does this mean you'll get everything you want? The "perfect" labor? Of course not! It means you are allowing God to guide and care for you. The peace that comes from fully submitting to His will is His greatest gift. Jesus told his disciples in John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I don't give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." This Glorious gift is available to all who believe.

For those who like to be in control (and I am one of those folks) submitting anything is so hard, but trust Him. Hand over the reigns and He will hold you through it all. Remember some of His names include Abba (the equivalent of daddy), Healer, Strength, and Comforter.

Also remember that He's been birthing babies since Eve! Although it may be unknown territory for you, He's done this a few times. He has a when, where, why, and how already planned for the birth of each child. They may not be your ideal situation just as I'm sure Jesus being born in a stable wasn't exactly Mary's ideal place. God placed Him at that stable for a reason just as He will place your baby where ever it is born. Trust Him. Sometimes His plan is different than yours. If He's trying to lead you, follow. You don't have too much control over what occurs during your birthing. What you can control is your focus. Focusing on the Comforter is the most important part of the process!

Have faith in Him. He will carry you. Faith allows you to believe and trust Him no matter what your circumstances. It's a matter of acting on what you believe to get a breakthrough. Act as commanded in Judges 5:21 "March on, my soul; be strong!" When you feel you can't do it, pray for strength. He always answers. Let go of control and have faith that He will get you through.

Don't hide your fears either. That will only build a wall that will keep everyone, including God, out. Then no one, not even the Lord, can help you through those fears. He can heal your hurts and take away your fears. And on top of all that He will fill the gaps they left behind with a calmness that only the peace of the Spirit can provide.

He has created our lives so our souls crave Him. When we focus on the Lord we "feel" better. Going through difficult circumstances (such as pregnancy, labor and even newborn care) is a way for Him to redirect our focus on Him. We have to realize that we can't do it on our own and, as Christians, need to lean on Him to provide for our needs and quell our fears. He promises to never leave us or forsake us and that "there is no fear in love. For perfect love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with torment." (1 John 4:18) His love for you is perfect so let go of your fears and let God's love fill you.

Let go of it all and let God carry you through.

Let go and let God.